Bullying

I’ve been a protector since I was a young child. No matter what it cost, I stood up for my family. So when my daughter recently told me about something that happened to her on the school bus, I was ready to jump into action. Was my daughter being bullied?!?!

She told me about it over the weekend, so I was moved to prayer and a good night’s sleep before calling the police, the school, and the other child’s parents. That blessed delay gave me time to learn that the offending child apologized the day after the incident, it has not happened again, and my second grade daughter was strong enough to stand up for herself. She told the other child, “Stop it!” She also reported the incident to the bus driver and her teacher.

I was very concerned because bullying is very serious.

Students across the nation, their parents, and others have had to file lawsuits and publish studies trying to stop bullying in schools. Cases in New York, Tennessee, and Boston have made recent headlines. So have tragic reports about students in Missouri who, like too many other victims of bullying, took their own lives. And of course the reports that the Uvalde, Texas school shooter was bullied when he was younger.

Bullies aren’t just in schools. Thirty percent of adults are bullied at work, and another 19% witness bullying at work. That’s millions of adults in situations that can also be emotionally and physically damaging, or at least overwhelming. For example, the Oregon elected official who quit in the middle of their term.

Are you bullied at work? Are you the bully? If you have children, have you talked to them recently about bullying?

We all deserve safe spaces to do our best. That means addressing bullying. We can:

• Know our bullying selves. Be honest. If you’re a bully, you may not be clear about it. You may think you’re hard-charging and have high standards. Ask for honest feedback from the people you work with. How do you feel about that? If asking them feels insulting, beneath you, or a waste of time, that could give you a clue. You may need coaching or other support to adjust what may be bullying behavior.
• Care for our bullied selves. If you think your being bullied is based on something such as your age, race, religion, gender or gender identity, you may be able to address that directly. Check your workplace policies about discrimination and bullying. Share your situation with someone such as a counselor, or a friend you feel safe telling. At work, find someone in human resources, a manager or other person of authority and report your experience.
• Do something. If you witness bullying, find a way to help. You may be afraid of losing your job or becoming a target if you step in, but you can find a way to support the person being bullied.
• Help children avoid bullying. Be a living example of how to get things accomplished without being a bully. Don’t condone bullying of any type. Explain to your child the difference between a bully and a friend. Practice situations where your child might be bullied and how to handle them. Show your child how to find people who can help when the child feels bullied.

Most importantly, take time with your child. Love your child passionately. Don’t turn a deaf ear to your child’s voice. Take nothing for granted! I make myself slow down to listen to my daughter, and I look at the body language. I treasure every moment with her, good and bad.

I’d like to think that the love and guidance my wife and I have given our daughter helped her stand up to another child without fear or violence. Our home is a bullying-free zone. What about yours?

Above image: Shutterstock/wavebreakmedia

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