As children reach their teen years, they want independence. They need time away from their parents to develop their own sense of self and to learn responsibility. That’s hard on parents because they want to keep their children safe. So, what can parents do to help keep kids safe? Communicate!

Communication with teenagers can be broken into two categories. The first involves establishing trust between parent and child, starting from the moment they are born. The second is about expectations, consequences, and ongoing communication.

Building Trust

Establishing trust with your teen starts before they reach those young adult years. Parents who are open and honest with their kids starting at an early age get more honesty and respect in return. Being honest includes admitting when you’ve made an error or weren’t your best self.

If you lose your temper with a 7-year-old because you’ve had a hard day and he’s being whiney, being honest about it builds trust. The child learns that admitting mistakes or bad behavior helps resolve the situation and make everyone feel better. Fast forward a few years, and at 13, that child is more likely to confess to doing something wrong.

The other half of that equation is your reaction to finding out about some trouble your teen has. A mom or dad who listens as calmly as possible gets the information they need to keep their kid safe. Acknowledging that by coming to you, the teen has done a smart thing and reminding them you still love them helps the next time they are in trouble. Asking questions about the incident and discussing why it happened helps, too. While parents may decide on disciplinary measures despite the honesty, they should be reasonable, and the reasons for it should be explained.

In the article by Schoolmykids.com on building trust, the writer discourages the old “because I said so” response and encourages parents to remind their kids they love them and explain any punishment handed down. This practice encourages parents to think hard about what’s appropriate for the infraction.

Establishing Expectations

Children always need to know what parents expect. However, those expectations should flow both ways and include honesty. For example, a teenager needs to know she can count on a parent to pick her up immediately if she finds herself in a bad situation. Kids need to know that their parents will support and help them if they make mistakes. They need to know their curfew, but also need to know they can call as that curfew approaches to report they will be late due to unforeseen circumstances.

Keeping communication channels open so that kids feel they can come to their parents when they’re in trouble will keep kids safe. When a teenager makes a mistake or falls in with the wrong crowd, they will only be in worse trouble if they’re afraid to talk about it.

Remember that the trust you build with them will keep them safe.